Alicorn Training Video
by llxxRawr its Beansxxll
Summary: Based on 'Krusty Krab Training Video'. I own nothing.


**STORYBOARD DIRECTORS**

** Princess Celestia**

** Princess Luna**

**STORYBOARD ARTIST**

** The Great and Powerful Trixie**

**WRITTEN**

** The Cutie Mark Crusaders**

** Pinkie Pie**

** Princess Cadence**

**ANIMATION DIRECTOR**

** Rainbow Dash**

**CREATIVE DIRECTOR**

** Also Rainbow Dash**

Various stillshots around Equestria are shown while a cool, upbeat soundtrack plays.

**Narrator: Welcome aboard. If you're watching this video, then let me be the first to say 'Congratulations!' You have recently become an alicorn pony, and this is your first official day of training.**

Twilight spontaneously grows wings, and then a formal dress is put on her. She giggles excitedly at this momentous opportunity.

Twilight: Can I be a princess now?!

**Narrator: Oh, no. You've got a lot to learn before you can be a princess. As you can see by this graph…**

A giraffe appears, grazing in the grasslands of Equestria (near Fluttershy's house).

**Narrator: Ahem, graph…**

A graph featuring the castle skyrockets upward, showing the kingdom's success.

**Narrator: You have become royalty in one of the most successful empires ever known. But it didn't get that way overnight…**

A shot of the castle switches from day to night.

**Narrator: …because Princess Luna brings out the night at 6:00.**

The camera zooms in on a portrait of Princess Celestia.

**Narrator: No, the story of Equestria is a story of one pony's hard work, perseverance, vision, determination, and sweat. But mostly, her sweat.**

Zoom in on Celestia's armpit, where a large sweat stain is showing on her dress.

**FROM HUMBLE BEGINNINGS**

Cut to a filly Celestia humming to herself and drawing on the floor of her house. This must have been pretty early because the picture is black and white, and Luna is just a baby sitting in a high chair beside her.

**Narrator: You may think that Princess Celestia, ruler and co-founder of Equestria, has always been the powerful leader she is today.**

She gets up and shows Luna her drawing, which shows her and her only standing on a balcony of a castle and wearing a tiara, while it shows Luna being catapulted to the Moon.

**Narrator: And you're right!**

The filly Celestia giggles and goes back to her drawing while Luna begins to cry as a result of this frightening image.

Cut to a picture of Celestia depressed and alone in her bedroom.

**Narrator: After the war, Celestia stayed secluded in a deep depression that seemed endless.**

The scene then turns happier, as various construction workers start building Equestria as the Princesses watch from a castle window.

**Narrator: But then, her luck changed when she acquired a vacant empire on what used to be the United States of America, and with a few minor alterations…**

Luna starts to slowly fade away from the scene.

**Narrator: …Equestria was born!**

The sound of Luna crying from the Moon can be heard as Celestia raises it for nighttime.

**Narrator: Sounds like a lot of…**

Pinkie: Hoopla!

**Narrator: Sounds like a lot of…**

Pinkie: Hoopla!

**Narrator: Sounds like a…**

Pinkie: Hoopla! HOOPLA!

The narrator gets tired of Pinkie's antics and throws a brick at her head.

**Narrator: Sounds like a lot of hoopla to make over a little kingdom, right? Hehe. WRONG!  
**

**EQUESTRIA TODAY**

Shots of various ponies are shown, including the Mane 6 and various funny faces from the show.

**Narrator: To keep up with today's demanding citizens, no expense has been spared to acquire the latest achievements in modern-day technology.**

Princess Celestia holds up a spatula in her hoof for the viewer to see.

Celestia: This here is an advanced food control mechanism.

She points to a large vault with a dial lock that holds all of Equestria's money.

Celestia: Here, you can see our automated money-handling system. Don't touch!

She holds up some melting ice cubes.

Celestia: These are high-quality beverage temperature devices, imported.

She puts the ice cubes in the drink and gets a straw out.

Celestia: This here is a prototype liquid transfer machine.

She takes a sip from her dry martini, then spills the rest on the floor, leaving the castle janitor to clean it up while she watches. Next, she holds up a 1980s Apple computer. No mouse.

Celestia: And most importantly, you get your state-of-the-art electronic entertainment.

Next, she impatiently points to the gift shop.

Celestia: Now, are you going to buy something or just stand there, because there's a standing tax.

All this 'modern' technology surrounds Twilight.

**Narrator: All of this modernization seems a little overwhelming, doesn't it?**

The items spin around, and Twilight follows them until she gets dizzy.

**Narrator: Well, luckily for you, Princess Celestia's fear of robot overlords keeps the balance of technology in check.**

The items disappear, and the scene changes to Twilight standing next to a very disliked MLP character.

**Narrator: But if modernization is at the heart of Equestria, then royalty is the liver and gallbladder. **

Zoom in on Twilight making an adorable face.

**Narrator: Let's see if you've got what it takes. Hmm…poised, confident, and a smile that says, "Hello world! May I be your ruler?" You've got the makings of a good princess, Ms. Sparkle! But for every good noble, there is one who is not so good.**

A snobby prince fixes his hair as the camera focuses on him.

**Narrator: Let's see…inattentive, impatient, a glazed look in the eyes. Look carefully at the "I'm the Most Hated Pony in the MLP Fanbase" button. There's a name for princes like this, but we'll call him…Prince Blueblood.**

He puts down his comb and looks offended at the camera.

Blueblood: I'm getting paid for this, right Celestia?

Celestia: Sorry! Can't hear you!

**TRAINING**

Twilight: Does this mean I get to be a princess now?!

**Narrator: No, you can't be a princess without understanding the phrase POOP.**

Twilight: POOP?

**Narrator: Once you understand POOP, you'll understand your place in Celestia's royal court. But what is POOP?**

She just shrugs, having never heard of the phrase in books.

**Narrator: It's actually a carefully-organized code. Watch closely. Princesses…Order…Our…Ponies.**

Twilight: Oh, POOP!

**Narrator: Looks like Ms. Sparkle understands POOP. **

Cut to a normal pony in a tuxedo walking through the front gates of the castle during the Gala.

**Narrator: Here's a typical citizen. I wonder how he's going to respond to the almighty Celestia greeting a common citizen like him. Well, if we just remember POOP, we can figure it out.**

Celestia: Welcome to the Grand Galloping Gala.

**Narrator: Do you think he's going to A. Walk Away, B. Have a discussion with Celestia about the tax rate in Equestria, or C. Give a modest and grateful bow to his ruler.**

The subject bows at Celestia's hooves and enters the Gala.

**Narrator: Ah, POOP! You never let us down!**

Memories of encounters with Celestia, Luna, and Cadence flicker through Twilight's mind.

**Narrator: Now that you understand POOP, I bet you think you're ready to be a princess.**

Twilight: PRINCESS!

She gallops toward her plush throne, but is swatted by a giant flyswatter that turns her into a twitching pile of mush on the wall.

**Narrator: Haha! Not so fast, Eager McBeaver! We haven't even talked about PERSONAL HYGIENE.**

Twilight enters the women's bathroom and stands in front of the sink.

**Narrator: Every royal and high-ranking member of society must comply with a strict set of personal hygiene guidelines. Okay, Ms. Sparkle, are you ready to prepare for waving to the crowd?**

Twilight turns on the sink and starts to wash her hooves.

**Narrator: A good princess always washes herself thoroughly. Be sure to get under that cleft.**

She nods and scrubs a little harder.

**Narrator: And don't forget about the collateral groove.**

She washes them a little harder.

**Narrator: And make sure that sole is squeaky clean!**

She scrubs furiously, trying to get the intricate parts of her hooves.

**Narrator: Alright, let's see those…**

She takes her hooves out of the sink, showing that she has scrubbed so hard that they have turned into hands.

**Narrator: Now, that's thorough! Hehe. After making sure your horseshoes are polished, your snout is clear of any blemishes or boils…**

She notices a zit on her face and cuts it off with a pair of scissors.

**Narrator: …and your mane is neat and tidy…**

She uses some spray from Rarity to make it look just like her unicorn friend's fancy and elegant mane.

**Narrator: …you are ready to start the day! Now, let's see how Prince Blueblood prepares for his shift.**

The door opens and shows him snoring on the toilet.

Blueblood: …Huh? Oh! Disgusting! Royalty like me should never have to sleep on such a lousy commode! I am going to have to speak to my pharmacist and demand a refund on those pills, or I shall have my guards cut off his head!

He slams the door behind him, Twilight still not knowing what he was doing in the ladies' bathroom.

**Narrator: Remember, no royal wants to be a Prince Blueblood. Now that you're clean and hygienic, I bet you bet you're ready to be a princess.**

Twilight: I'M READY!

She keeps splitting in two and yelling 'I'M READY!' until multiple flyswatters smack her and her duplicates.

**Narrator: Whoa there! We have a few more topics to cover first.**

**YOUR THRONE ROOM**

**Narrator: It's important to keep your area tidy and free of droppings.**

Twilight attends to her throne room by running a vacuum all around.

**Narrator: But a clean throne room is only part of the job. To make the vision in your head a reality, you'll need supplies. And a good princess always keeps her supplies well-organized.**

She flies over to her private library and pulls out 'Science: An Encyclopedia of Science: Book 1, Volume 1'.

**Narrator: Very nice, Ms. Sparkle! Not a book out of place! Now, let's see how Prince Blueblood keeps his throne room.**

Twilight peeks into Prince Blueblood's room and notices him sleeping amongst various pizza boxes and soda cans littering the floor.

Blueblood: Huh? Oh! Again?! Why am I not in my bed chamber?! My lousy servants didn't even bother to clean this up, did they?! I am going to have their heads cut off in front of their families! And extended families!

**Narrator: Don't worry, Blueblood. Ms. Sparkle will cover for you. Now that your throne room is up and running, perhaps you think you're ready to be a world-famous princess. **

In response to this, Twilight barks like a dog and runs around the room.

**Narrator: Haha, calm down.**

The narrator throws a book at her, which she reads with enthusiasm.

**Narrator: There's plenty of time left. We have to make sure you're ready for the psychological aspect of the job.**

**INTERFACING WITH CELESTIA**

Twilight: Princess Celestia, could you tell me about Equestria before you started ruling?

Celestia: No.

**Narrator: Good job, Ms. Sparkle!**

Twilight: Can I be a princess now-

**Narrator: Now, we move from behind the scenes to the front lines, where we'll examine the most important aspect of Equestria, the citizen. Or, as we like to say, the ponies.**

Fluttershy: Who said that?...Are you a ghost?

**Narrator: Like precious, precious blood in an animal, the citizen is what makes Equestria strong and alive.**

She runs through the castle and eventually bumps into Prince Blueblood.

Fluttershy: Um…excuse me, but…the ceiling is saying very mean things, like…something about blood in animals.

Blueblood: Well, what do you expect me to do about it?!

Fluttershy: Um…well, no, that wouldn't work…Um…let's see, I, um…

Blueblood: Commoner, go be stupid someplace else!

**Narrator: Ah-ah-ah, Blueblood. Remember what Princess Celestia says.**

_Celestia:_ _The bronies are always right!_

Fluttershy: Well, um…No offense, Prince Blueblood, but maybe the ceiling's right. You're, um… (quietly) not being a very good prince right now.

Blueblood: Fine! Can you please tell me what you want?

Fluttershy: Um…let's see, no…

Blueblood's eye twitches as Fluttershy tries to come up with an idea.

**Narrator: We'll check up on these two later. Right now, it's important that we discuss an…**

**EMERGENCY SITUATION**

In a secret vault in Canterlot, Twilight watches over a box containing the Elements of Harmony.

**Narrator: Like the lost gold of Atlantis, many consider the Elements of Harmony a treasure. And as with every treasure, there's a thief ready to steal it. So it's up to you to be the watchful eyes of…**

The Elements hover above the table by a metal claw. In it is one of Equestria's worst villains, protected by an impenetrable metal robot.

**Narrator: What's this? It's Princess Celestia's arch-rival, Queen Chrysalis!**

Chrysalis: Eat my changeling dust, Celestia! The Elements of Harmony are finally mine!

**Narrator: She's stealing the Elements! What are you going to do, Ms. Sparkle?**

Twilight: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Twilight screams and runs around the castle while Celestia calmly trots to follow the big, slow, crab-like robot.

Chrysalis: You'll never catch me, Celestia! Not after I shift into maximum overdrive! HI-YAH!

The mechanical legs of the robot move a little faster, but before she can get out of the door, Celestia just levitates the robot with her powerful magic.

Chrysalis: I knew I should've gotten the turbo.

Twilight: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Celestia takes the Elements from the robot's claw and extracts Chrysalis from the cast-iron shell.

Chrysalis: Hear me, Celestia! You'll take these Elements from my cold, dead…

Chrysalis' voice gets more high-pitched as Celestia uses a spell that makes her smaller. Now, she can easily flick her out of Canterlot and into the Forbidden Mountains.

**Narrator: And so, another emergency is avoided, thanks to Ms. Sparkle. Let's check on Blueblood again.**

Fluttershy keeps correcting herself as Blueblood is driven crazy.

**Narrator: Psst, Prince Blueblood.**

Blueblood: Hmm?

**Narrator: Just remember POOP.**

Blueblood: (kindly) Ms. Fluttershy, if I could make a suggestion, why don't you just leave the castle, and the ceiling won't be able to bother you?

Fluttershy: Oh, great idea, Prince Blueblood. Thank you so much.

Blueblood: Now, are you going to leave on your own, or shall my guards escort you out?

Fluttershy: Um…let's see, um…

Blueblood repeatedly bangs his head against a stone pillar.

**Narrator: Hang in there, Blueblood. It's all part of the job. Now that you've learned the basics of your training, it's time for the moment you've been waiting for.**

The royal crown slowly zooms in as the narrator provides dramatic music.

**Narrator: Dum, dum-dee-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum, dee-dee-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum, dee-dee-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum, da-da-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-da! Da-da-da-da! Shh! Dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-da, dum-da, dum-da! Dee-dum-dee-dee-dum-dee-dee-da-duh-duh-da-da-da-du h-duh-da! Duh-duh-lee-dee-luh-dee-dee-dah! Dee-duh-de-lee…*gasp for air* dee-duh-de-le-duh-de-lee-duh-de-lee-duh-le-dee-dee -duh-de-dee-duh-de-dee-daaaaaaaaaaa!**

**BECOMING A PRINCESS!**

Cut to Twilight, surrounded by her friends, bowing to Celestia in preparation for becoming royalty.

**Narrator: At the center of every great dynasty is the crown jewel that keeps it alive and running. For Equestria, these are the princesses.**

She kisses Celestia's hooves in a show of respect.

**Narrator: And now you, the humble unicorn from Canterlot, the all-too-necessary pony resource that keeps this kingdom afloat, will learn the sacred and dark secrets of how to run, with your very own hooves…**

Twilight gasps with excitement.

**Narrator: ...the sumptuous, lip-moistening, spine-tingling, heart-stopping pleasure center that is becoming a princess! Are you ready?!**

Twilight nods eagerly.

**Narrator: Are you sure?!**

She nods her head so hard that it breaks in half.

**Narrator: Okay! Celestia hereby dubs you Princess Sparkle of-**


End file.
